I was really happy to see so many good and true things said about Christ and Christianity at Charlie Kirk’s memorial. I was also very impressed with Erika Kirk: her attitude, her strength, her skill in communicating, and her desire to be Christ-like in these terrible circumstances. She is a role model for Christian women, in many ways.
Because it has received such massive attention around the world, I need to say something in response to something Erika said on stage, not in criticism of her, but of the poor teaching she has received from pastors who are supposed to know better. This post is not about Erika, but about bad pastors and teachers, including many who call themselves “Lutheran.”
Erika is being widely praised for saying this: “On the cross, our Savior said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’ That young man. I forgive him.” People around the world are stunned and in awe of this. “Christ forgave from the cross! This is Christianity!” they think. Not exactly.
What did Jesus do from the cross? “And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left. Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.’” (Luke 23:33-34). Not, “I forgive you.” Not, “God forgives you.” He spoke not a word to those who had sinned and were sinning against Him. Instead, He prayed for them. He made intercession for sinners, asking that the Father might forgive them even this heinous crime of crucifying the Son of God.
A prayer that someone be forgiven is not the same as forgiving someone. By praying for these sinners, Jesus was perfectly in line with what Paul writes about God: “God wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth” (1 Tim. 2:4). He was doing exactly what He had told His disciples to do: “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven” (Matt. 5:44-45). Loving someone, praying for someone, is not the same thing as forgiving someone.
Jesus teaches His disciples whom they are to forgive and under what circumstances. “If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him” (Luke 17:3).
Does Jesus Himself follow His own counsel, or does He behave differently?
On some occasions, Jesus spoke for God, as God, to those who hadn’t sinned against Him personally, but against God. “Your sins are forgiven you,” He said to the paralyzed man who was brought before Him, “when He saw their faith” (Matt. 9:2). “Your sins are forgiven you,” He said to a sinful woman who washed His feet with her tears. “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace” (Luke 7:48,50).
He told two parables about forgiveness. In the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, it was the penitent tax collector who went home justified (that is, forgiven by God), rather than the Pharisee, who did not go home justified (that is, forgiven by God) (cf. Luke 18:14).
He told another parable about a man who owed an immeasurable debt to his king. The king sought to collect the debt, but when the man begged for mercy, the king forgave him the debt, and then expected him to forgive his fellow servant’s debt *when that servant acknowledged his debt and sought mercy from him.* The king did not simply forgive all the debts of all his subjects at once, but of the one, when the one asked him for mercy (cf. Matt. 18:23-35).
This is what it means when Jesus tells us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” We are to forgive as God forgives, not differently than God forgives. When the one who has sinned against us repents and seeks forgiveness from us, we are to forgive them. “And if your brother sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him” (Luke 17:4).
Many times, Jesus was sinned against personally. On no occasion did He speak forgiveness to those who were mistreating Him, while they were mistreating Him. When the Pharisees criticized and falsely accused Jesus, He never once replied, “I forgive you.” When the Jews were ridiculing Him on the cross, challenging Him to come down, He never once replied, “I forgive you.” When He stood before Pilate, who was about to unjustly condemn Him to death, Jesus didn’t say, “I forgive you.” He said, “The one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin” (John 19:11).
But Jesus prayed on the cross for those who sinned against Him! How could His prayer not be answered? It was answered, on the Day of Pentecost, when Peter addressed the crowds in Jerusalem, some of whom were at least partially responsible for Jesus’ crucifixion. He did not proclaim, “I forgive you!” He did not proclaim, “God forgives you!” He said, “Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ *for the forgiveness of sins*” (Acts 2:38).
Stephen, the first Christian martyr, did exactly as Jesus did, when the Jews were unjustly stoning him to death. He prayed, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin” (Acts 7:60). And, in the case of at least one man who was there that day, the Lord answered his prayer.
Saul was there giving approval to Stephen’s stoning. He was not forgiven by Stephen or by God on that day. But he was forgiven later. When Jesus confronted Saul on the Damascus road, He did not say, “I already forgave you when Stephen prayed for you.” He said, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute Me?” (Acts 9:4) When and how was Saul actually forgiven? When God sent his minister, Ananias, to speak the Word of God to Saul, who had, by that time, been humbled and brought to repentance, and then said, “Arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord” (Acts 22:16).
Those who truly follow Jesus don’t seek to walk beside Him or ahead of Him. They walk behind Him, following in His footsteps. This movement that calls upon Christians to “forgive” all people, all the time, even when those people remain impenitent, is dangerous. It isn’t walking in the footsteps of Jesus. It is seeking a way that, at first, appears Christ-like, but, in reality, is a new and different way than Jesus walked.
What, then, should the Christian do when he is sinned against? As Jesus said, “If your brother sins against you, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him.” Or, if a rebuke is not possible, then there are still other things we are instructed to do. Love your enemy. Have a heart of mercy toward your enemy. Let your enemy know that you are ready to forgive him, from the heart, if he seeks forgiveness from you.
And pray for the one who sinned against you, that God may forgive him—not immediately and directly, but by sending His Word to the offender and by working through His word to call the sinner to repentance and faith in Christ Jesus.
Again, I have absolutely no condemnation for Erika Kirk, only deep sympathy and a great deal of admiration and praise. But I have something against her pastors, and against all pastors who mislead the flock of Christ into false belief.
If Erika’s pastors had taught her properly to follow in Christ’s footsteps, then she might have said something like this: “That man, I want him to understand that what he did was wicked and wrong. Charlie did not deserve to be gunned down in cold blood, and my family did not deserve to be robbed of a husband and a father. But I also want him to know that I feel sorry for him, and that I am ready to forgive him, as God, through Christ, has forgiven me all my crimes against Him. If that man ever seeks my forgiveness, he will have it. But more importantly for his eternal soul, I hope and pray that he will repent before God and seek His forgiveness through Christ, who died for all our sins. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only-begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
It’s good to call for Christians to avoid hatred, vengeance, and bitterness. It’s important to call upon Christians to forgive, *when forgiveness is what God commands.* But what God commands is that we walk in the footsteps of Jesus, which does not always mean “forgiving.” To be evangelical *like* Jesus is the goal of every Christian. But there is great danger in trying to be more evangelical than Jesus. The danger is that, in the end, we create a subtly different Jesus in our hearts than the One who is revealed in Scripture. And that can be deadly, for us and for those who would learn of Christ through us.
